When will i change? when the time comes..

what is PSPM? PSPM is 'peperiksaan semester program matrikulasi'..
hmm..without realising, i have been a matriculation student for a semester..does it make any difference in my life? i don't think so..for my heart always says that SAMURA is the best plasce i've ever been..hahaha..

so..about pspm..i cannot say much..i did not do my very best..yes..i'm playing..i've never been serius in whatever i did..although i know that the result for this examination is very2 important, but i don't know what is wrong with me..hmm..math paper, especially..i really regret it..my math paper have never been so empty like this..i cannot answer majority of the question..how can that happen? not enough preparation? maybe..or i cannot adapt the life in matriculation college..
fast-paced..

what makes me feel really bad is, my friend..all my friend keep on saying.."diyana..you are a genius person..clever..i'm sure you can score- lah.."do you all know that actually you will only make me want to kill myself by saying that? please..don't say like that, my friend..especially after exam..hmm..i'll feel very depressed..

as the eldest in the family, i should show a good example to my siblings..but..hmm..i don't know if i can be a role model to them or not..just pray to Allah..for He will always help us..i need to be strong..strong..strong..just go on..give the best in life..don't play2..but when will i change? when the time comes..