Monday, May 16, 2011
the art of forgetting
specially for Qurratu Aini..be strong..though the sun may not be shining, there's a hidden silver thread.. :)
"he hurts me deeply..one moment he was okay, and then his not..i want to forget him, but my heart is reluctant to do so..maybe i just love him too much..everytime i stalk his facebook profile, i'm hurt..seeing him with other girlS..especially her! i just can't imagine it..how dare he gave me hope, and then he destroys it.."
have you ever be in that kind of situation? someone gives you hope, promise you this..tell you that..and they said that they want to be with you. but later you find out that he/she is flirting with someone else..what the..?
you'll feel tension..stressed out when thinking about it. am i not good enough for him/her? relax..i know it's hard to accept the fact that they are not with you anymore at the beginning. but life goes on. it's such a waste if you wait for someone that doesn't want to be with you. it's better if you look for someone else, rather then waiting blindly like that. you also, are not sure about the ending, right?
what you can do to make you feel better? or in advance, forget about him/her?
1) write all your feelings in a piece of paper..what makes you hurt..who made it..it's okay if you just imagine what you feel in mind, but it's better if you write it out.. after you finished,read it and crumpled the paper into a ball before throwing it..or you can choose a more dramatic way- fold the paper, insert it in a bottle and throw into a river or sea..hahaha
2) throw all things that can make you remember them. pictures, messages, call history, presents, letters.. only if your emotion is strong enough to keep it, you can keep it. because if there're less things related to them, you'll soon forget them.
3) be busy.do your hobby. if you're not busy, you'll day dream and sooner or later, you'll remember them. you'll think about the sweet memories you two had..their good deeds towards you..and suddenly..your heart longing for them. how can you forget them if that happens..you'll only hurt your heart even more..so, be busy..
4) don't be alone. you have friends around you. if you don't have, find! hang out with them. laugh with them. enjoy with them. when you're alone, the probability for you to think about them is higher. it's okay if you don't want to tell them your story, but just don't be alone.
5) share with someone-your best friend or anyone that you trust or close to you. they'll lend their shoulder for you to cry on. you'll feel better if you've talked to someone about what you feel, because maybe, they'll give some useful tips and advice.
6) lastly, if all of the steps above doesn't work, you should try this. i think it's a bit mean, but if your condition only get worser day to day, you should try this. Burn their picture. yes. burn it. look at the fire. it's okay to cry. when it's finished, you'll feel better.
a piece of mind from my friend, fadzrul : the only way out is in, and the best way to forget is to think about it so that we can accept it.
so the conclusion is, it's all about our emotion. it's not a matter of forgetting, but accepting and moving on. we're different. we may handle our problem and situation differently. the above steps are only a suggestion. we must control our emotion. don't let our emotion controlled us. whatever it is, the best way to face this situation is by just accept it and move on. forgetting is hard, because it's like trying to remember something, but you don't know what it is. pray to Allah, He'll show you the way. everything happens for a reason.